Chapter 1

What have I done?

Maggie knew that she was in the room, she knew that she was currently been hugged and pressed into and congratulated by people who have just sprung from no where.
No there’s been some mistake. Tell him, tell him now. How can I tell him now in front of all these people? Who are these people and what are they doing here.

Oh please God tell me what to do.

Timothy was smiling like a Cheshire cat. Maggie should have seen this coming from a mile away. It was just that she thought he would have waited now that war had broken out. She thought he would have enlisted and once the war was over he would have done this, not now. So much was running through her head. If she could just somehow think of a way to go back and tell everyone that it was all just…what on earth would she call it- a mistake…an accident…

A misunderstanding! That was what this was a simple misunderstanding. All I need to do is explain what happened and we can all have a big laugh about it and forget that it happened.

Thinking back to the last twenty minutes and what had taken place she knew that she had been foolish and not really listening to what he had been saying. That was one of her grievances with Timothy he just talked and talked so much, how was she to know that this was going to happen.
Timothy had started it almost like every ‘serious’ conversation they had. They had had quite a few as Timothy liked to make lists as to certain faults, or ‘attributes’ as he would call them, about how Maggie could improve herself.
He sat her down on the old burgundy sofa in the front parlor, one she would avoid sitting on at all times for this very reason, even though it was her own sofa in her own house. He took out that dreaded notepad from his inner jacket pocket and started flipping through the pages. She could remember thinking how she would love to get a hold of that pocket book one day and tear every single page out, it wouldn’t matter if they had been written on or not, by ripping them out now she would be able to stop him writing words such as ‘cross at the ankles’ or ‘less laughing at other gentlemen’s jokes’.
Once he stopped flipping through its endless pages he had clearly come to the page he wanted and then commenced his speech. Maggie remembered trying to avoid this conversation here and tried to jump up to see why she could hear so much hushed tones. She now knew that it was all the interlopers presently gathered around her telling her what a lucky young lady she was.
Of course Timothy told her that it was not important as he wished to discuss a very important matter with her and that he would consider it respectful if Maggie would not interrupt him or talk until he had finish his few words.
This was when Maggie switched to auto pilot and unfortunately started her nodding. She had always found things went smoother and more importantly faster when she appeared to agree with what Timothy said. She had tried arguing once or twice but then Timothy had brought her mother into the discussion and mother was so quick to defend Timothy and chastised Maggie so much afterwards that she had decided it was far better this way.
Timothy had actually started off complimenting her on her recent achievement of finishing her nursing qualifications. Saying that he thought it had been an excellent use of her time leading up to this point. And that he was sure that it would help her enormously in her mothering abilities. The he gave her this look which she could only describe as highly optimistic because she knew deep down that becoming a mother was the very last thing she had wanted. Especially children with Timothy, she could almost see their faces looking disapprovingly at her when she would try to change their nappy or when she would offer them ice-cream before dinner just like her dad and her would secretly feast on if mother was running late.
Timothy was certainly acting peculiar by giving her compliments but his next choice of words put her back at ease as they were much more customary and so she continued to nod as he told her how he was disappointed that she had shown so much interest in the war as it was really something that the men need to concern themselves with. She had to bite down hard on her tongue as with these words she desperately wanted to make it clear that it was of her concern as her very own brother had joined the army as a lieutenant in charge of the engineers and mechanics in a small but important division. She knew that it wouldn’t be long until her brother would have to go to France as the tanks and other heavy vehicles would be needed without much delay. She had thought that her brother was so heroic for enlisting at the first sign of Hitler’s deceitfulness when Timothy was still calling him an excellent economist.
Timothy must have felt her objection as he quickly changed to subject to how he was not able to join the war effort himself as his expertise was needed at the communications office. He would of course be taking part in the war effort and that he had even been asked to take part in a series of tests to see if he was able to break certain communications codes. Maggie inside laughed at Timothy thinking that he was probably only being asked to work as a telephonist as all those men has enlisted in the army like true heroes such as her brother George. Timothy told her that his career choice had seemed an odd one at first but that technology was going to one day be the way of the future and that he would one day be a very wealthy man. Maggie knew where this speech was going, this speech came out nearly as often as these talks did. Timothy would go on to talk about how he was going to work on things called computers and that these computers were going to change the world as we know it, and by Timothy knowing all about these computers when no one else does he would be able to make his fortune. Maggie really never understood why it was so important for Timothy to make his own fortune. His parents were very wealthy and affluent in the London social circles and many of her girlfriends had continually reminded her of how advantageous it had been for Maggie to have caught the eye of such an eligible bachelor. Maggie would always smile and agree but she knew that it was never her that first caught his eye. It was true that Timothy was absolutely devoted to Maggie but if it hadn’t been for her sister Elizabeth they would never have met and Maggie would not have been in this terrible situation. Elizabeth had been working at the university just prior to her marriage to William as a secretary to one of the professors. Her typing speed was unequalled in all of the university and she would often take on extra work typing the assignment of the students in order to pay for the wedding to William. William had also been from a wealthier family and Elizabeth knew that Father was not able to afford the type of wedding that William’s family expected and so she had worked day and night to make a great contribution. This was when she first met Timothy. Timothy had often typed his own work but when the end of the semester brought an extra workload Timothy had asked his professor about getting some help. The professor had recommended Elizabeth knowing that Timothy could well afford her fees and that Elizabeth could use the extra money. Elizabeth had always told the story about her first encounter with Timothy like she was telling the story of her meeting with her true love, which always made Maggie wonder what if Elizabeth had met Timothy before William, if things might have turned out differently. She said Timothy came crashing through the office door with ten or twelve books in his arms which then came crashing to the ground. She said she was about to reprimand him when he looked up at her with his great big puppy dog eyes and apologised. She went on to tell everyone about how generous Timothy was because he paid her almost double her going rate. Timothy would joke in return it was because he knew that she had such charming family. William would generally look at me and smile because the two of us knew it was because he thought that Elizabeth herself was charming and that he thought it would be a great way to impress her. He was right and it did impress her so that she asked him over for dinner with the family. Elizabeth was not silly enough to tell Mother that she was interested in another man besides William and so from that moment on Timothy was for Maggie. Lucky Maggie, to have such a wonderfully clever sister to introduce her to such a delight as Timothy Mother would then joke but we all knew that deep down Mother believed it to be the truth.
Mother had always loved Timothy from the very start; she could almost recite word for word Timothy’s speech about his prospects to become independently wealthy and what promising potential he had. As Timothy was sitting before Maggie droning on about how he would make an excellent provider she continued to nod her head in anticipation of the conversation coming to an end with the well worn line- I’m so glad that you see things my way, Maggie. And then he said it and so Maggie nodded her head once more looking away and starting to stand when Timothy utter one last line. Maggie couldn’t hear the words because Timothy was bent down on his knee looking for something or so Maggie thought and she simply smiled her head at Timothy and nodded getting ready to head into the kitchen to get away from Timothy’s constant chitchat.
That’s when it all happened. Timothy yelled, quite unlike himself, into the next room.
“She said yes”.
This leads to the nightmare in which she now found herself.

Please Lord; help me to find a way out of this.

Maggie looked around at all the faces in the room. Her Mother’s smile was beaming from ear to ear. Mother was a beautiful woman no one could ever believe that she had three grown children. She would tell anyone who would listen that her beauty didn’t come without effort and that she would moisturize morning, noon and night to keep her skin looking youthful and glowing. Maggie theorized that it was simply down to good genes from her grandmother, which unfortunately for Maggie she did not receive.
Elizabeth on the other hand received Maggie’s extra measure and she still looked like a teenager even though she was twenty-six. Her soft blue eyes still reminded Maggie of a child although tonight Maggie thought she saw a tiny tear roll down her cheek. Maggie couldn’t be sure as Elizabeth’s masses of blonde curls fell down around her face when she looked over at William and then back to Timothy. She then took on a different persona and hurried over to give Timothy a kiss on the cheek and a hug saying welcome to the family.
Those words caused Maggie’s heart to start racing, bringing her back from her diverted thought and nearly causing her to fall to the ground in distress. Just then both her father and brother George were at her side virtually holding her up.
“It’s going to be ok”, whispered George.
Maggie didn’t know how it would ever be. Maggie looked over to Timothy and her mother frantically chatting away about details for the wedding and her life thereafter.

Please Lord.

Maggie could feel her father running his hand down her back. He used to always do this to Maggie as a child, especially when she had hurt herself. It reminded her of the time she was sitting on the faded grey leather bed in the doctor’s office. The room had smelt so clean and sterile, even though she wondered how the room could actually smell sterile. Maggie had fallen out of a tree and split her head open at the side and her father was called home from work to be given the job of taking Maggie to the doctor as her mother had always gotten sick at the sight of blood. In fact her mother fainted when she had seen Maggie so that Maggie had to administer first aide to herself and get the smelling salts to wake up her mother. Her mother said she wouldn’t look at her and rang her father at work telling him that he need to come home to take care of that troublesome daughter of his. Father rushed home and was surprised to see how unfazed Maggie was about the size of her wound and took her straight to the doctor. Kind old Dr. Fowler was more worried about scarring on Maggie’s lovely face than any brain injury she might have sustained. Maggie had insisted that she been allowed to hold up a mirror to watch Dr. Fowler put the stitches in and her father had rubbed her back the whole procedure. Up and down, side to side, round in circles Father knew that she was a brave girl, especially as Maggie had wanted to watch, but he also knew that she liked to feel his presence and he wanted her to know that even though things would hurt he would always be there for her.
That is what her father was doing for her tonight, letting her know that he knew she was in pain. Maggie felt some relief, surely her father would get her out of this misunderstanding.

Daddy, please help me.

Maggie was right, her father had sensed that Maggie had not wanted to say yes to Timothy but he also knew that Maggie should have been more cautious and not gotten herself into this situation. He looked over at Timothy and his own wife, he knew that this was not a situation that could be resolved easily, hearts would be broken and he knew that as much as he wanted to protect his youngest daughter from this it was not for him to do. Maggie would have to find a way to tell Timothy they would not marry. Father thought some more about the situation and decided that he would do one thing to help Maggie in her situation, of course Maggie may not see it as helping but Father prayed that this plan would be the best for Maggie, he prayed because he knew her life was at risk.
Mother looked over at Father with her still beaming smile and said
“So Father, do you think, like Timothy, that they should have a June wedding?”
“Well I have a plan” said Father, seriously.

Thank-you God, Father is going to say Timothy and I can’t marry.

“I’ve been thinking about Maggie’s future and although I would love to see you in it, Timothy” Father paused, weighing his words carefully as he could sense his wife’s shock and Maggie’s relief at the same time. “I think it is important, now that the war has started, for Maggie to serve her country. I want Maggie to enlist in the Red Cross”.